you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It's rum buckets o'clock
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
