We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
