Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
