I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
