Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
