If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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