Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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