does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
