Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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