do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
