Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
