Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
