i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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