omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I am available for nakedness
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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