Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
