Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She announced her abortion via fbk
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Everyone says I win the strip club
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
