ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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