a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
