i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
