So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
