we'll go far in life on tits alone.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
