It's like God shit irony all over that family
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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