Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
