drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
that is very illegal...i love you.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
