the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
