I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
