your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
whose parrot is this?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
