the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
