I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
