their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Randomize
