I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
