New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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