Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
