New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
