the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
