Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
