Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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