I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
