it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
