I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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