Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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