It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just want nice things and good sex
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
