the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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