I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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