my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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