farters have to be the big spoon...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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