whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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