Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
