he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
