nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I think people are normalizing furries
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
