last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
