i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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