we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
